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Dear Wisdom Circle
I have a problem. I am sad all the time. I don't understand what is wrong with me. When I'm around my friends and family, I act like I'm happy. I'm not very close with my family, but I know they would be there for me if I told them how I feel. I also have a few close friends that I feel comfortable being around, for the most part, but I don't really feel like I can talk to them about how I feel.
Sometimes I sit around and think about why I feel the way I do, and I just can't work it out. Also sometimes when I think about it, I just start crying or at least feel like crying, and then when I do I just feel stupid afterwards because I don't even know what it is that I'm crying about! I don't feel normal sometimes because I don't know anyone else who has felt this bad (for no reason) for this long. I haven't come from an abusive family, or relationship or something that could be triggering this.
I'm also tired a lot of the time, and it's hard for me to find energy to do things. I've felt this way for years. I would really like to be happy. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but I don't know what to do about it. Also, I was wondering if depression runs in families? I think possibly my mum has suffered from depression and I don't know if maybe that's part of the reason I'm depressed. Please help me.
Signed: Sad and Miserable
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Sad and Miserable
Wisdom Circle is sorry to hear that you have been feeling so sad for such a long time. You say that you think you are depressed. Though Wisdom Circle can’t say for sure, the symptoms you’ve listed, including fatigue, lack of motivation, feeling sad, and crying are consistent with depression. The duration of these symptoms also seems to indicate that you are not just experiencing normal ups and downs. In addition, you say that your mother has been depressed. Since depression can be a trend in families, this too suggests that depression might be a problem for you.
You said that you don’t feel normal sometimes because you don’t know anyone else who feels like you do. You’re not alone; many people suffer from depression. You also say that you don’t know what to do. You might want to think about telling your family, as you seem to be confident that they will be supportive. Sometimes just telling your story to loved ones and getting some support can make you feel better. It may be helpful for you to talk to a counsellor. Therefore you can book an appointment to see one of our professional consultant for individual counselling especially designed to help you manage depression. In addition to talking with a professional, you could consider enrolling in our Institute. The CTS2 Institute has a training course on "Depression", which looks at the causes and effects of depression as well as self-help techniques for managing depression.
Wishing you some happiness,
Wisdom Circle
Dear Wisdom Circle
I have had a very difficult year, however this has been an on going pattern in my life for about ten years now. I took the stress rating quiz and came up with about 60. My mum died when I was young, my dad remarried an evil vindictive woman who tore my whole family apart, eventually resulting in me leaving home at 17 (having been thrown out a couple of times previously). I have had two abortions in recent years and I generally hate my life with a stinging vengeance. If six months ever go by without a serious catastrophe I may die of shock! I have been to my school counsellor in the past, and have tried very hard to reduce my stress levels and resolve the serious issues in my life.
Unfortunately I have very little control over my situation and I am so busy I don't know how to fit relaxation in. I can not afford to cut down on my academic or working hours as I am failing my course and can not afford to give up work. I have no parental support, and as I did not get into halls I have no support from peers within my course. I feel like crying everyday and I often think that I will fall apart if I have to deal with one more crisis in life and yet they just keep on coming. I applied to student counselling a while back but couldn't attend the session cos I was too busy. I don't know if anyone can help me, everyone I ask is useless. Maybe it is partly my fault for being so scatty and disorganised but with all the millions of things going on at the same time, I can't seem to organise life into manageable pieces in my head, let alone in reality. I don't even know if this is the right way to get help but I had to give it a shot cos it was the only thing I had time to do. Please help me if you can, if not don't worry you're not the only one.
Stressed
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Stressed
You seem to have had a lot of traumatic experiences over the last ten years, all of them life changing and taking time and energy to handle. Wisdom Circle notices that you say you feel very unsupported and perhaps a bit alone in dealing with all this.
When life feels like its spiralling out of control we often run around trying to catch up with all the things that feel like they're getting away from us. This can then mean that we get more and more stressed and more and more behind and feel less and less like we'll ever get control! Wisdom Circle wonders if it sometimes feels like that for you?
Although it feels impossible to do, it's often the best thing to just stop, and take a little bit of time to look at the problems and issues and try to break them down into manageable bits and pieces. Sometimes its easier to do that with a friend or a tutor or a counsellor than it is alone. Wisdom Circle wonders whether you might consider trying talking with one of our professional consultant again as this is the sort of thing the counsellors are there to help with? You could try looking on the time it takes as an investment which might pay off in the longer term.
On the positive side, many people in your situation would have given up by now, with so many things feeling like they're against you, and you haven't, which shows a strength you can be proud of. Wisdom Circle wonders if now might be the time to stop having to be so strong and doing it all alone? The fact that you've contacted Wisdom Circle shows that you haven't completely given up hope that things could possibly improve.
with good wishes for a more manageable near future,
Wisdom Circle
Dear Wisdom Circle
I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the last few years and have had to take a year out of uni because of this. During my year off I have worked on my social anxieties and general confidence and I naturally assumed that the lack of confidence I had in work would return also. This is not to say I'm not academic: I got 11 GCSEs, 4 grade A A-levels and have averaged a first in the work I've done so far at uni.
But when I returned to revision this year I found I had great difficulty and started having panic attacks. I tried increasing my antidepressant dose which did help but really slowed me down.
I didn't think I was going to get through the exams despite the fact all my notes were in order and I had devised a revision timetable but no matter how much I tried to stick to it the anxiety and depression kept wrecking things and I felt totally despondent. I also started to have very negative feelings about myself and the future - especially that I would never make my way in the world on my own and that I would always be a "emotional mess". I also considered hurting myself because I was so convinced the exams were going to be a make or break situation.
Because I was feeling depressed and totally lacking energy and motivation, I went to a private psychologist (I have been on the NHS waiting list for over a year!) and they said I should just get through the exams and if I couldn't revise, so what.
While this did help and stopped the suicidal thoughts, I still feel very demotivated and haven't revised properly for over a month because I am just so despondent. My parents still think I'm doing some work, and are anyway convinced I will pass on my merits anyway. I have to say I don't agree and think I'm going to fail.
So basically, I'm stuck in the situation of just letting the exams wash over me and fail them to keep sane until the end of May, and I don't have the energy to revise anyway. This is odd as I'm going against the academic nature I've had so long before and I also feel guilty that I'm going to fail the exams not because of my ability, but just because of the crap situation I'm in.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
Stuck and Depressed
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Stuck and Depressed
As far as Wisdom Circle can understand it you are describing a long term and a short term problem.
The long term one might be about managing or living with the anxiety and depression and hopefully recovering, at least to some extent.
The short term one is about getting through these exams. Obviously this is the more urgent of the two at this point in time. Wisdom Circle guesses that you are sitting your exams externally, as you say you're on a year out. While it is no help to you, it might be of some comfort to know that many people who resit externally find it extremely difficult with anxiety, loss of motivation and concentration being common symptoms.
If you are in the United Kingdom, at the moment, the best advice Wisdom Circle can suggest is that you book an appointment to see one of our professional consultant for individual counselling. You can see someone that day and get some support and help to manage your exam related difficulties. They can also offer help with mitigation if you decide that you want to offer mitigating circumstances. It sounds as if you may have good medical grounds for mitigation.
If you are not in the United Kingdom, we could still speak to you on the telephone if you don't mind. Also, if you have not already contacted your department to tell them of your circumstances, it might be a good idea to inform your personal tutor or Welfare Tutor so that the department knows that you are still having difficulties.
While Wisdom Circle does not know whether you have always had a tendency to worry about things like exams, it sounds as if in the past you have managed to perform extremely well academically despite your difficulties and that gives hope that given the right help and support you will be able to rediscover your academic skills & confidence. It is also worth remembering that when we are suffering from severely depressed moods it is almost impossible to see anything in a positive light. There is, therefore, a possibility (however small) that you are not performing as badly as you think you are because of the grey-tinted spectacles (the depressed mood) through which you are viewing the world.
In the more long term, you might consider undertaking a training course at CTS2 Institute. They offer courses in managing anxiety and in managing depression which you might find helpful.
With good wishes for a more hopeful near future
Wisdom Circle
I have a problem. I am sad all the time. I don't understand what is wrong with me. When I'm around my friends and family, I act like I'm happy. I'm not very close with my family, but I know they would be there for me if I told them how I feel. I also have a few close friends that I feel comfortable being around, for the most part, but I don't really feel like I can talk to them about how I feel.
Sometimes I sit around and think about why I feel the way I do, and I just can't work it out. Also sometimes when I think about it, I just start crying or at least feel like crying, and then when I do I just feel stupid afterwards because I don't even know what it is that I'm crying about! I don't feel normal sometimes because I don't know anyone else who has felt this bad (for no reason) for this long. I haven't come from an abusive family, or relationship or something that could be triggering this.
I'm also tired a lot of the time, and it's hard for me to find energy to do things. I've felt this way for years. I would really like to be happy. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but I don't know what to do about it. Also, I was wondering if depression runs in families? I think possibly my mum has suffered from depression and I don't know if maybe that's part of the reason I'm depressed. Please help me.
Signed: Sad and Miserable
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Sad and Miserable
Wisdom Circle is sorry to hear that you have been feeling so sad for such a long time. You say that you think you are depressed. Though Wisdom Circle can’t say for sure, the symptoms you’ve listed, including fatigue, lack of motivation, feeling sad, and crying are consistent with depression. The duration of these symptoms also seems to indicate that you are not just experiencing normal ups and downs. In addition, you say that your mother has been depressed. Since depression can be a trend in families, this too suggests that depression might be a problem for you.
You said that you don’t feel normal sometimes because you don’t know anyone else who feels like you do. You’re not alone; many people suffer from depression. You also say that you don’t know what to do. You might want to think about telling your family, as you seem to be confident that they will be supportive. Sometimes just telling your story to loved ones and getting some support can make you feel better. It may be helpful for you to talk to a counsellor. Therefore you can book an appointment to see one of our professional consultant for individual counselling especially designed to help you manage depression. In addition to talking with a professional, you could consider enrolling in our Institute. The CTS2 Institute has a training course on "Depression", which looks at the causes and effects of depression as well as self-help techniques for managing depression.
Wishing you some happiness,
Wisdom Circle
Dear Wisdom Circle
I have had a very difficult year, however this has been an on going pattern in my life for about ten years now. I took the stress rating quiz and came up with about 60. My mum died when I was young, my dad remarried an evil vindictive woman who tore my whole family apart, eventually resulting in me leaving home at 17 (having been thrown out a couple of times previously). I have had two abortions in recent years and I generally hate my life with a stinging vengeance. If six months ever go by without a serious catastrophe I may die of shock! I have been to my school counsellor in the past, and have tried very hard to reduce my stress levels and resolve the serious issues in my life.
Unfortunately I have very little control over my situation and I am so busy I don't know how to fit relaxation in. I can not afford to cut down on my academic or working hours as I am failing my course and can not afford to give up work. I have no parental support, and as I did not get into halls I have no support from peers within my course. I feel like crying everyday and I often think that I will fall apart if I have to deal with one more crisis in life and yet they just keep on coming. I applied to student counselling a while back but couldn't attend the session cos I was too busy. I don't know if anyone can help me, everyone I ask is useless. Maybe it is partly my fault for being so scatty and disorganised but with all the millions of things going on at the same time, I can't seem to organise life into manageable pieces in my head, let alone in reality. I don't even know if this is the right way to get help but I had to give it a shot cos it was the only thing I had time to do. Please help me if you can, if not don't worry you're not the only one.
Stressed
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Stressed
You seem to have had a lot of traumatic experiences over the last ten years, all of them life changing and taking time and energy to handle. Wisdom Circle notices that you say you feel very unsupported and perhaps a bit alone in dealing with all this.
When life feels like its spiralling out of control we often run around trying to catch up with all the things that feel like they're getting away from us. This can then mean that we get more and more stressed and more and more behind and feel less and less like we'll ever get control! Wisdom Circle wonders if it sometimes feels like that for you?
Although it feels impossible to do, it's often the best thing to just stop, and take a little bit of time to look at the problems and issues and try to break them down into manageable bits and pieces. Sometimes its easier to do that with a friend or a tutor or a counsellor than it is alone. Wisdom Circle wonders whether you might consider trying talking with one of our professional consultant again as this is the sort of thing the counsellors are there to help with? You could try looking on the time it takes as an investment which might pay off in the longer term.
On the positive side, many people in your situation would have given up by now, with so many things feeling like they're against you, and you haven't, which shows a strength you can be proud of. Wisdom Circle wonders if now might be the time to stop having to be so strong and doing it all alone? The fact that you've contacted Wisdom Circle shows that you haven't completely given up hope that things could possibly improve.
with good wishes for a more manageable near future,
Wisdom Circle
Dear Wisdom Circle
I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the last few years and have had to take a year out of uni because of this. During my year off I have worked on my social anxieties and general confidence and I naturally assumed that the lack of confidence I had in work would return also. This is not to say I'm not academic: I got 11 GCSEs, 4 grade A A-levels and have averaged a first in the work I've done so far at uni.
But when I returned to revision this year I found I had great difficulty and started having panic attacks. I tried increasing my antidepressant dose which did help but really slowed me down.
I didn't think I was going to get through the exams despite the fact all my notes were in order and I had devised a revision timetable but no matter how much I tried to stick to it the anxiety and depression kept wrecking things and I felt totally despondent. I also started to have very negative feelings about myself and the future - especially that I would never make my way in the world on my own and that I would always be a "emotional mess". I also considered hurting myself because I was so convinced the exams were going to be a make or break situation.
Because I was feeling depressed and totally lacking energy and motivation, I went to a private psychologist (I have been on the NHS waiting list for over a year!) and they said I should just get through the exams and if I couldn't revise, so what.
While this did help and stopped the suicidal thoughts, I still feel very demotivated and haven't revised properly for over a month because I am just so despondent. My parents still think I'm doing some work, and are anyway convinced I will pass on my merits anyway. I have to say I don't agree and think I'm going to fail.
So basically, I'm stuck in the situation of just letting the exams wash over me and fail them to keep sane until the end of May, and I don't have the energy to revise anyway. This is odd as I'm going against the academic nature I've had so long before and I also feel guilty that I'm going to fail the exams not because of my ability, but just because of the crap situation I'm in.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
Stuck and Depressed
Wisdom Circle's Response
Dear Stuck and Depressed
As far as Wisdom Circle can understand it you are describing a long term and a short term problem.
The long term one might be about managing or living with the anxiety and depression and hopefully recovering, at least to some extent.
The short term one is about getting through these exams. Obviously this is the more urgent of the two at this point in time. Wisdom Circle guesses that you are sitting your exams externally, as you say you're on a year out. While it is no help to you, it might be of some comfort to know that many people who resit externally find it extremely difficult with anxiety, loss of motivation and concentration being common symptoms.
If you are in the United Kingdom, at the moment, the best advice Wisdom Circle can suggest is that you book an appointment to see one of our professional consultant for individual counselling. You can see someone that day and get some support and help to manage your exam related difficulties. They can also offer help with mitigation if you decide that you want to offer mitigating circumstances. It sounds as if you may have good medical grounds for mitigation.
If you are not in the United Kingdom, we could still speak to you on the telephone if you don't mind. Also, if you have not already contacted your department to tell them of your circumstances, it might be a good idea to inform your personal tutor or Welfare Tutor so that the department knows that you are still having difficulties.
While Wisdom Circle does not know whether you have always had a tendency to worry about things like exams, it sounds as if in the past you have managed to perform extremely well academically despite your difficulties and that gives hope that given the right help and support you will be able to rediscover your academic skills & confidence. It is also worth remembering that when we are suffering from severely depressed moods it is almost impossible to see anything in a positive light. There is, therefore, a possibility (however small) that you are not performing as badly as you think you are because of the grey-tinted spectacles (the depressed mood) through which you are viewing the world.
In the more long term, you might consider undertaking a training course at CTS2 Institute. They offer courses in managing anxiety and in managing depression which you might find helpful.
With good wishes for a more hopeful near future
Wisdom Circle
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